Being a MILAB was easy as a single person. I never had the worry of my experiences affecting another, until I had kids. That truly made things so difficult. How do I be in the here and now when I truly feel so disconnected? How do you handle situations that are out of your control and protect two little souls? Tough gig!
Like most, being a Milab is not an easy ride. Some days are so difficult, just in the sense of everything that is thrown at you. How does one cope? I cope by taking deep breaths and meditating, even just 5 minutes in the morning helps me. The other challenges that I face are the hard ones. The constant harassment via the kids’ schools, the bullies and the tyrannical teachers. I have had my fair share of those. Its like they set up small scenarios just to get me beyond livid so that they keep me in that state of anger. I guess its easier for them to do what they need to do with me. The constant harassment at night time, the helicopters at 1am 2am 3am, daily UFO sightings, all of it after an event
Every morning I take the time to sit on my bed (my usual place) and I then surround myself in golden light and then let that slowly fill the entire house, but truly I am no expert on how else to deal with it all. I am just a mom with two kids who is making sure that my kids are safe and mentally OK, especially my son who is more switched on than my daughter.
There was only ever one incident that made me buckle. I was up all night. I would lie between the kids rooms and look to my left down one end of the hallway and to the right to the other end of the hallway, thinking “this is so crazy,” way before I had ever met anyone like me. My coping mechanism was non-existent. How do you do battle with something you can’t see? It was a nightmare! The more experiences I was pulled into the more disconnected I would get. The more UFO sightings, the more cars would pull up and sit watching and observing me. After an initial threat I thought this has to stop, but how? So I used my training they so kindly provided me with. I turned it onto the very ones that made life hell for me. Sounds like a movie doesn’t it? I kid you not.
I had no one to turn to. Sometimes I still find that I have no one I can turn to. I knew no one in the field. I had one friend who lived thousands of miles away in Europe. Time ticked so slowly for me to be able to call him and I’d just fall in a heap. As time went on I just wrote everything down. There was a huge gap where everything stopped. So I then turned all my attention to my children. I made them understand what I go through, on a kiddy level, never going into any great detail but it was enough for them to understand that Mum has bad dreams sometimes. I have made sure that they are well adjusted, no matter how difficult it is for me or how many bruises I wake up with. If I am not feeling well I just make sure that I get up before them to snap myself out of it as best I can. My kids keep me grounded for I think love is the best way to fight back. The more they pull me in, the more love I give. The more torture, the more love I dish out. At the end of the day love beats all.
Eat healthy, stay active and love unconditionally.