Bob is a survivor of Milab and SRA from a very high level Bloodline family. Bob has been involved in covert milab ops both on Earth, in underground bases and off-world.
I was asked if I could talk a bit about recovering from Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID for short), and some of the things I have found that helped me along my path to putting myself back together (its an ongoing journey that has many difficulties). Also, note that writing is far from my forte so the reader will have to bear with me.
In most cases I have read most people don’t know they where suffering from DID but with some luck and a great deal of help from competently trained psychologists, therapists, and psychiatrists (not all are) they came to the awareness and started working on putting themselves back together and ultimately getting some degree of freedom from their past. I cannot stress enough the importance of seeking competently trained people in this matter of trying to undo what has been done. There are a number of dangers that can be encountered while trying to get free and put everything together. It is my experience that it can’t be done by oneself, though in the past I would have told you otherwise.
So, what is helpful? Meditation is very helpful, I found it useful in that I became more self aware (this is paramount in dealing with triggering and internal parts), I felt grounded and a greater sense of calm and peace that I had not experienced prior to learning to meditate. Keeping a journal is a good way to catalogue the goings on of the day. It can be hard to write stuff down and some times just trying to figure out what to write can be a monumental challenge. But writing down things that happened that you thought was strange like odd phone calls, emails, texts, or what you are feeling and what goals you are trying to achieve is very helpful especially when looking back on it to see how far you’ve come. Wearing a watch is helpful as well since it gives an idea as to the date and time, and you can better keep track what’s going on hour to hour and day to day. Exercise is a good psychological boost for the mind and body and helps keep depression down I find. Getting a routine going is very good in that you can sometimes catch changes when the routine is not followed, and then back track and try to figure out why.
Keeping stress and anxiety down in your everyday life is by far the hardest thing to do since simple things which average people take for granted as not a big deal can be a HUGE deal for someone with DID. Try living everyday with anxiety that when a phone rings your heart starts pounding so loud you are sure your neighbour can hear it. Or try going to sleep without checking that the doors and windows are shut and locked only to bolt out of bed when you hear a sound and then carefully creeping around checking to make sure no one is there and making sure everything is locked. When I was a child I would take two pieces of tape and a piece of fishing line and tape one end to the door (which I made sure was closed since it made me feel safe) and the other end to the wall, and then check it in the morning to see if someone tripped it (I had many strange experiences as a child which growing up I thought was normal to have happen to people). Or being so scared to ask for something as simple as a glass of water or where the washroom was because deep inside you are scared to get reprimanded or worse for asking. Suffer in silence I am sure is what we where taught.
Try going shopping for food only to find out once you get home that you already have multiples of some of the things you wrote on your list you needed (I have 4 bottles of soy sauce in my kitchen. I forgot I already bought some at some point) and the same goes for clothes or tools.
Try keeping a bank account balance while living with DID. Money is non-existent so to speak from check to check since other alters can come out and buy whatever they want (or been told to buy) hence leaving you scratching your head looking at bank statements trying to figure out what happened. Or try having an alter fail to take over body functions, specific responsibilites and attend meetings as it was trained to do. And then have people come into your house and break a few of your fingers because “you missed a meeting and you must be disciplined…..”
Or having to take sleeping pills because you are haunted by nightmares of the past of things you did because it was what you are trained to do, or try and get through a day without seeing faces of those no longer on this earth and you are the reason for it.
You’re probably getting the idea that stress and anxiety and some times PTSD are everyday things to be dealt with as well as depression and suicidal tendencies for people who live with DID. Finding the causes for these feelings are a huge and an on-going challenge which leads us to the next bit of helpful things to try and do and that is finding and creating safe places.
This can be broken down into three types 1. Internal safe place(s) 2. Physical safe place(s) 3. Non-physical safe place/protection.
Ok so # 1. Internal safe place(s) is needed for alters that need protection from other alters and a place that is their own, not one that was dictated to them by others or a programmer or abuser. This is relatively easy to do with meditation and visualization and checking on it daily to make sure things are ok. One must understand that the complexities of internal structures and alters can be extremely complex since many years have gone into building and making these things so undoing them is not easy and many variables are involved.
# 2) This can be for most the greatest challenge. One of the major keys to recovery I feel is getting somewhere that you can’t be physically activated or triggered. Not an easy feat today with the vast array of technologies like cell phones that enable one to be triggered via emails, texts messaging and voice mail. Likewise exotic tech and non-physical means are used to trigger individuals. Family members or friends and sometimes complete strangers can be part of the problem.
So getting somewhere safe that makes it harder to trigger you is important. In this way progress can hopefully be made and not undone through triggering and reconditioning of the various alters.
Moving from where you are at to a different state or city may be enough for some people with DID. Others may need to think about moving to different countries to achieve it. Meanwhile you must have some sort of safety structure like a psychologist or a trusted friend that can help keep an eye out for problems. Unfortunately getting up and moving is not realistic for most people due to finances, jobs, and other life conditions such as having a wife or husband and even kids. So trying to identify triggers and finding how to safely disable them is best done in places where the individual feels safe and protected.
- Non-physical safe place/protection. There are many variables here like soul agreements and the like. There are ways to protect one’s self non-physically, but a person must know why they are being attacked or contacted, triggered and used in the non-physical areas. Hence meditation is an important skill to learn so you can find out what’s going on as well as being able to distinguish the difference between internal worlds (in the mind) and astral, etheric and the infinite realities in-between. There is much to explore and learn in the beyond.
Just to sum things up as this is just the very tip of the iceberg on this vast topic: First off if one has DID then finding a safe place to recover and a creating a network of reliable people that you can trust. Work on learning meditation, keeping a journal, exercising, or practicing tai chi or running, hiking, biking, anything that can get you outdoors and some exercise. I find it very helpful to create a routine and STICK TO IT. Routines help to give one a sense of structure and confidence, since this is what is often times lacking in everyday life. Educate yourself on this topic; learn about human behaviors, psychological conditions and their effects. Many symptoms can overlap into other conditions and a person can have more than one condition. Learn as much as you can. Knowledge is power. The more you know and are aware of the harder it is for others to try and manipulate and use you.
John Stewart Mills may have summed it up well when he said “Let not any one pacify his conscience by the delusion that he can do no harm if he takes no part, and forms no opinion. Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing.”
All the Best on your Journey,